Jam in my Hat
 
I got myself together
And I headed to the door
But when I put my hat on
My chin fell to the floor
Was warm and it was sticky
And it mingled in my hair
And as it goes, when it reached my nose
I swore I smelt a pear
 
Was green and it was lumpy
It continued cross my skin
Went in my eyes and to my surprise
I could not feel a thing
It trundled on its journey
It passed across my lips
It reached my chin, then I caved in
Was poisoned by the pips
 
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
 
The tables they are turning
The jams are on the rise
A fruity, sweet intelligence
And humans they despise
Beware what's in your clothing
Then look under your bed
A strawberry flavoured jam is there
And you will soon be dead
 
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
 
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
 
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
 
I got jam in my hat
You know I got jam
I got jam
yeah jam
 
You know, the jam's still there
It's in my hat, it's killing me
The jam, beware the jam
Oh my God it's the jam
 
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
I got jam in my hat
 
I got jam in my hat
You know I got jam
I got jam
yeah jam