Granny's Handbag
 
This is a gran, she looks like a man
In drag, what's in her bag
 
There's a
 
Felt pen, some nice lipstick
A chocolate bar and a red house brick
Penguin, a pair of shoes
Jewel encrusted elephant poo
Blue comb, a boy named Tom
Ten ton nuclear bomb
Sniper rifle, telephone
Big black cat and a traffic cone
 
In Granny's handbag
In Granny's handbag
 
That's right you've guessed, the biddy is dressed
In rags, what's in her bag
 
There's a
 
Beer can, a Polaroid
Tube of cream for your haemorrhoids
Red guitar, the number ten
T-bone steak and a dog named Ben
Pink slippers, slimy fish
A big and grey satellite dish
Baby spoon, electric fan
A turban and an Indian man
 
In Granny's handbag
In Granny's handbag
 
There's a
 
Lizard egg about to hatch
Pirate wearing an eye patch
Bowling ball, a song from Kiss
A vile of tropical cat piss
Mary Poppins photograph
A big joke book that'll make you laugh
Laptop, an apple pie
Squirrel turd and a swarm of flies
Motorbike, a piece of cheese
Copper tubing, bag of peas
Ornamental Chinese fan
Roll of tape and another gran
 
In Granny's handbag
In Granny's handbag